Control or Controlled?

I lived in a pretty naive world growing up. While I was familiar with people controlling others, I was not familiar with alcoholism and a variety of other addictions that normal, everyday people have in the world. It was simply not discussed and we had rose colored view points on society growing up.

In my first marriage, I was not only introduced to someone very controlling but an alcoholic as well. This certainly burst my rose-colored viewpoint on the world; one that I was certainly not prepared to deal with.

Now, almost 20 years later, I have been well educated about the real world and have left that marriage a little over 10 years ago. I have progressed in being able to be in a position to help others through the same adversities that I had experienced in my first marriage.

Not only have I been involved in CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate and GAL (Guardian ad Litem) programs for the abused, neglected and abandoned children in the court systems, I have been involved with Toughlove, Family Eldercare and Crisis Center programs to aid the elderly, domestic violence affected, and sexually assaulted, or battered men and women.

I hear constantly about people being controlled, abused, neglected, or abandoned emotionally and physically all the time. With all the new laws enacted, this has not been anilated by any means; however, we can do all that we can to help.

No one deserves to be controlled by another person. A marriage should be a team effort where one is not better than the other; but, where each other compensates for each others weaknesses to have a strong united marriage. Anything less is working against the grain of the wood and will only serve to heed progress throughout the life. Each person deserves to be respected and treated as a human being no matter what his or her disabilities or weaknesses might be. Everyone has the right to be empowered to do the best that they can be.

Have you empowered someone you love -- or even a stranger* -- today? Look around you...empower another person not to be controlled by others, but to be in control of their destinies along with the aid of their network of spouse, family, and friends. Make the connections possible. Provide them resources available -- numbers of crisis centers, local Churches, samaritan counseling centers, neighbors, safe houses, etc. Let them know that they are not alone.

* Hebrews 13:2: "Don't forget to show hospitality to strangers for some who have done this have visited angels without realizing it!"